Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
