I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
