this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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