id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
