im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
