thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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