I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she told me i tasted like america
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
