Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
