If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
