my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
