her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
