It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize