WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
