You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
