Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
