was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
