I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
