No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize