very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
