You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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