My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize