so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
