Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
People in love make me want to vomit
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
