im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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