I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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