But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
