I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
