some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize