i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
