mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
