if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
