the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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