i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
