I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
