Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
