Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
