My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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