I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize