At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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