I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
