Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
