No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
