My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
