people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
