I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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