Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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