Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
