Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize