My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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