Im at strip club and am horny
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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