guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
