I skipped work to stalk him.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
