In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
