For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
