Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
