I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
