Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I believe in your delicious
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
