Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
