WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize