So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
