i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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