Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
