Me too!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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