it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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