Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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