Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Found your dick twin last night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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