i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
