it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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