Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Randomize
