she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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