the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
