you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
