sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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